How It All Began
by Loshita87
Summary: Beatrice Prior lives in a gated community outside Chicago with strict rules and has always felt alienated. Living with her mother and sister in Abnegation, she has settled into a routine of selfless tasks and working in the town's hospital. What if he can offer her a way out? Would she risk it and leave with the blue eye stranger?What is behind the gates? Tris/Four A/U story lemons
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! I have started a new fanfiction based on my favourite character Tris Prior. Also because I love Four (so much), I have included him in the story alongside Tris. This story will be from Tris POV. I may not get everything exact regarding the medicals /health information in some chapters. So please be kind...**

**Unfortunately I don't own Divergent and their character! I just love them..a lot.**

**Prologue**

"I have waited a long time for you.. to appear in my life . I want to tell you Tris who I am and what I feel towards you". Four whispered as he held me. His arms wrapped around my shoulder and his face nuzzled in my neck. I could only stay still and rejoice in the words coming from his beautiful mouth.

At that precise moment I felt so much love and warmth. I let my body relax and feel him, his breathing, his scent...his heart. "Tris I don't want to hide anymore, I want to be with you'". He smiled as he move his head from my forehead and looked into my eyes. I gazed up at him, mesmerised by his beautiful dark blue eyes. All I could give him was a weak smile. I wanted to tell him that I love him, that I yearn for him and want to be with him. Always. But if there was an 'us', it would destroy him.

He would _hate_ me.

I couldn't risk that .. I couldn't risk betraying him or losing him.

"Four I can't". I abruptly looked away and pushed his arms of my shoulders. I could feel him tense as his arms fell to his side. "Why? Tris? Don't you feel anything?". His voice sound tired. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest near his heart.

"Don't you want me, I_ love_ you Beatrice".

I froze and quickly swallowed ."No Four. I .. I don't, I don't _love_ you". I snatched my hand away and looked in his eyes. His flinched and then I could see pain in them. I was hurting him. "Tris..Tris, your lying, yo...'" He stopped and I could hear his breathing quicken.

I squeezed my eyes shut to avoid seen him like this and turned around. I could feel the wind, blowing my hair and the words I lied to him. I began to feel pain, my heart was hurting .

"Goodbye Four!". I muttered, flung my bag over my shoulder nearly knocking Four over. Walking away felt like a punch in my stomach, I felt nauseous and I could taste my tears streaming down my face. I quickly wiped them with the palm of my hands.

I was down the stairs when I heard a scream.

"Tris!, Tris! 'I don't believe you!" He cried.

"You love me ...I know ". His voice sound broken, distraught. Empty . That's when I started running. I needed to get away, to overcome this aching pain in my heart.

I ran away from _him_.

I had to find out the truth...Did my father kill Four's mother?


	2. Chapter 2

**My Father**

**January 25****th**** , 2000- Chicago.**

**Beatrice 5 years old. **

The music was loud, blaring out of the speakers from our small grey house and making me giggle. I was standing on the veranda waiting for him. I could hear my mother laughing inside and my sister singing aloud. I started swinging my brown bear around as per the beat of the music. Then I heard a loud bang and held my bear in a tight grip.

'Beatrice darling, why are you outside?' I heard my father asked as he approached me from around the corner. I turned around and looked at him smiling and holding one hand up and with the other had my bear . My father a tall man with blonde sandy hair, grey eyes that shine and wrinkles under his eyes, smiled. He was wearing his grey suit that hanged to his knees and his black shiny shoes. He stroked my hair and picked me up. 'Father! I was waiting for you, I wanted to show you my new bear, mother gave me'. I said giving him a kiss on his cheek. I could smell that distinctive smell, combination of disinfected and medicine. The smell I have gotten used to and love.

'Beatrice that's a very thoughtful gift, did you say thank you?.'

'Oh yes father I did'. He smiled and put me down. I quickly held my father's hand tight in mine and felt joy that he liked my bear. We both proceed in walking inside the house when Tori ran to my father and embraced him. 'Tori you going to knock Beatrice over' My father chuckled placing a hand on Tori's arm.

My mother stood near our couch smiling at us, with beautiful expressive eyes. She had her long brown hair in a bun and was wearing her grey and brown dress. She walked to my father and placed her hand on his arm.

'Andrew how was your day?' she asked him.

My father responded with a smile and patted her hand before walking pass her.

'The same Natalie, no _changes_'.

My mother placed her head down and moved to close the door. I let go of my father's hand to run with Tori to the kitchen, I heard my mother say, 'girls no running and wash your hands, dinner will be ready soon and I need Tori to help me tonight'.

That night as I lay in bed, still full from the vegetable pie mother made. I hugged my bear tight and started counting the black stain on the ceiling. I could already hear Tori's quite snores from beside my bed. I quietly giggled as her loud snores startled her and she would then reposition herself in bed. I was about to look up and continue counting the stains when I heard loud sobbing downstairs. It sound like my mother crying and I could hear my father comforting her with quiet shhs. After a few minutes I heard loud footsteps coming up the stairs. I shut both my eyes and waited to see if our door would open. Then I heard the door knob twist and open, I could smell the sweet mixture of cologne with medicine.

I open my eyes squinting; I could see a dark figure near the door. It was my father. He sighs loudly and then whispers softly;'I _love_ you, Tori and Beatrice'.

I opened my eyes quickly to reply when I saw the back of my mother's head closing the door. I heard more sobs walking downstairs and then a loud bang that came from the front door. Someone had left. I pulled my covers off and ran to the window. There I saw a tall figure, head down walking away disappearing into the cold darkness.

'I love you to', I whispered holding my hands together.

**There it is my first chapter!** **Yay...Please feel free to comment ..why did her father leave? does this chapter reflect the relationship Beatrice has with her father? if a get more reviews, Ill try and post another chapter later ...Thankyou**


	3. Chapter 3

**Life as it is.**

**December 2012**

**Beatrice (17 years old)- Abnegation faction outside Chicago**

I wake up hearing the sound of birds chirping outside my window. I open one eye slightly, hoping it was still early so I can go back to sleep. My clock showed 0435. I close my one eye. I had half an hour before getting up.

' Ugh crap, ' I groan, refusing to open my eyes. I quickly cover my mouth hoping Tori didn't hear me swear. I can still hear Toris's soft snores across the room. I lift my pillow and place it over my head and wait for sleep to find me again.

No. Not happening Beatrice .

I need water, my toothbrush and a coffee ..or two. I crept out of the room hoping not to wake Tori up , she has this habit of interrogating me when I leave my room . Today I didn't need any of that I am already feeling under pressure. I am a trainee nurse , working at Abnegation's privileged hospital, Red Cross. I have my practical exam in the afternoon which will determined my position in the hospital. Even though, I feel confident my nerves are still at bay.

After a shower, I threw on my uniform, a long white dress with grey stripes on the sides. I brush my long blonde hair and put it up on a bun so it can hold my nursing cap. I take my oval shape pocket mirror that is hidden in my bag and open it. There I see a plain girl with round greyish eyes and a long thin nose looking back.

'My nose is so long', I sigh. I snap the mirror shut before anyone finds me looking at my reflection.

I quietly walk to the kitchen, when I hear my mother.

'Morning Beatrice, did you sleep well? she asks

'Yes mother I did '. I replied.

' Good, eat your breakfast. Then when your ready I will accompany you to work'

' Yes mother', I smile. Her soft brown eyes bore into mine before putting her head down and walking out of the room. Every morning my mother walks with me to work. At night Tori and my mother pick me up . I have suggested going on my own a few times but my mother becomes upset and Tori then cusses at me. I have given up asking otherwise.

I make myself a cup of coffee and sit in the chair beside our kitchen window, I push my hands down over the fabric of my dress a few times, praying that I pass the exam and I stay working in the same ward. I work in the general paediatric ward caring children from the ages of newborn to 16 Years. I am comfortable in my routine and don't want to change..yet.

'Beatrice you will be fine, stop pulling your dress and lets go'. My mother words snaps me out of my trance.

I smile , 'I'm sorry , I was just pulling my dress down'. I rub my sweaty palms against the chair and stand up.

We both leave, my mother locking the door behind her. We walk down the pathway alongside our house in silence. Then catch the bus into town, inside the bus we stand so other people can sit. As we approach the hospital, through the glass window I can already see people pacing in and out. The Red Cross is huge and it's architecture is stunning . It's main element is the glass walls and the beautiful flowers surrounding the hospital.

My mother drops me at the entrance, I smile and reassure her I will wait for her tonight.

' Thank you mother, I will see you tonight'. I smile.

' Beatrice I'll be here on time and I wis..s..h..aaa'. She begins to stutter. Then she turns her head away and covers her mouth.

' Mum it's okay I understand', I smile. No I don't. I want her to tell me. I want her to express some emotion. _Any._

As she walks away I am left with my thoughts. She has been like this since he left. Did I just think of my father?

_No Beatrice stop it! You can't think of him today. Not today_.

'Beatrice?' A soft voice calls me from across the room.

I wipe my hands again down my dress and look up.

Susan Black, a colleague of mine walks towards me looking puzzled. We both work in the same ward and have formed a nice and simple friendship. 'Susan how are you? How was your shift yesterday?'. She looks tired , with dark circles under her blue eyes.

'Beatrice, I am well. Yesterday was busy but nothing we can't handle as a team. We must provide the best care and do our task without any complains at all'.She frowns and her mole in her left eyebrow looks more noticeable.

'Yes Susan, of course your right! '. I suppress from rolling my eyes at her. Working 12 hours straight, 6 days a week isn't selfless then I don't know what is.

'Beatrice let's go and grab a bite before our round starts'. She smiles as she starts to walk towards the elevators. I follow hoping that today was going to go smooth and I'll be back in my bed.

After we grabbed something to eat. We head to the children's ward. The ward is buzzing with doctors and their interns. The sound of the call buttons vibrates through the walls. We are welcomed by an angry looking DOM who scowl at us and then insists we must work harder and manage our time efficiently. I put my head down and stare at my shoes. I wish today could be different. The same endless routine is becoming repetitive and I just wish that I had the energy to do my work with more enthusiasm. I _can't_ let my colleagues down.

After getting handover we are allocated to our patients. I am in charge of discharging the children home today. Yes, that's an easy task and I get to spend more quality time talking to the children.

I enter my allocated room and start introducing myself to the parents.

'Good morning my name is Beatrice, your nurse-'. When I am interrupted by a commotion outside. What sounds to be stamping of feet and loud voices. I rush to the window and look down, there I see a few men with black uniform and holding guns lining up near the entrance.

'Oh dear, what is going on?' I could hear the parents whisper amongst themselves.

DOM Margaret comes rushing into the room to reassure the parents and staff that they are Dauntless soldiers and they have arrived to protect us.

'Protect us..from what?'. I asked.

'Beatrice! Why don't you continue working'. She stared at me with a hard expression before leaving the room.

I put my head down and continue working. I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the morning. Why would Dauntless soldiers be in Abnegation? They are barely seen here unless .. unless we were in danger. _Why_ do they need to protect us?

Dauntless are seen as courageous and brave people who thrive from been fearless. I have seen lot of them around during ceremony days. I have never spoken to any of them. Not that I would be allowed to. But why are they here?.

'Sister, Patient in bed 21 can now go home make sure he has the right medication'. The doctors grating voice bought my thoughts back to present.

'Yes doctor'. I cleared my throat and walked to see my patient Matthew in bed 21.

Matthew sat on his bed bobbing up and down. His brown soft curly hair neatly framed around his chubby face. At 4 years of age he is a very inquisitive little boy. He was admitted to the ward with pneumonia. After 5 days he can now go home. His mother, a thin woman with a long grey and brown dress sat in a chair beside him.

'Sister Beatrice! I can go home ! I feel so much better!'. He laughs and jumps out of his bed.

'Matthew your manners. Don't scream'. His mother frowns at him.

'Hmm mother!'. He covers his mouth.

'Yes Matthew you can! I just need to get your medicine and you can go'. I pat his head and smile down at him.

I gather his paper and collect his medication from our pharmacy. Then I return to Matthew's room to accompany them to the entrance of the hospital to catch their bus.

I follow Matthew and his mother downstairs, listening to the small boy giggle and sing to her. She smiles occasionally and then look straight ahead. As we approached the sliding doors Matthew turns and whispers to his mother.

'Look mother that man is holding a gun'. He pulls his mother hand and points to the a figure leaning against the front door.

Then I see _him._

The man Matthew was referring to looks older then me by a few years . He has soft looking brown hair and what I could see from here incredible looking soft skin. He is wearing a black jacket and black jeans. Holding a long pointy gun in his left hand. But what caught my heart to stop there were...his eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of dark blue I have ever seen. I could feel myself drowning in them. So beautiful.

It took a moment before I realise that he is looking straight at me. His eyes darkened and then he smirks at me before turning his head around. I noticed he wasn't alone, a young short man with spiky hair is standing next to him.

A soft gasped escaped me when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to find Matthew's mother staring at me with a confused expression. I must have stood there looking at him not realising they were still beside me.

'Sister thank you for been compassionate and caring towards Matthew!'. She gave me a weak smile before walking away with Matthew who is waving at me.

I wave goodbye.

Then I quickly turn around to catch another glimpse of him when I realise his gone.

I hug myself and start walking towards the elevator. As my pace quickens I can't help but feel emptiness.

**Yay my second chapter is up! I wonder why Dauntless soldiers are in Abnegation? and the blue eye solider? Who is he? **

**I really hope I have described Beatrice, her relationship with her mother and where she works quiet well. A lot is going to happen in the first few chapters before Four and Tris become a couple. There will be a lot of tension between them. I will also go into more detail where she lives and what is happening in her faction.**

**Sorry if I have made any grammar mistakes. Please correct me! I will come back and correct any errors! Please comment, follow , favourite..what ever! Would love your thoughts in where this story is heading and what you think of Beatrice! Thank you x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Elevators **

**I don't own divergent! **

**Also this is my first time at writing..so please leave me comments! lol**

**Here it is another encounter with her blue eye stranger :p**

**December 2012**

As I stood waiting for the elevators to descend . I gazed at the panel of buttons and I find myself thinking of him again. Those beautiful blue eyes can make anyone melt instantly. _Wait. Why am I thinking of him again? Beatrice his a dauntless solider! There is no way you will be able to talk to him, let alone approach him. _

As the elevator descends and the doors open I walk in. I pressed the button to level 5 and wait for it to close when I hear a deep, masculine voice shout.

'Dont close! He calls out. I press stop and put my hand out to keep the doors from closing. I smile at the two men entering the elevator when I realise one of them is _him. _

_I froze. Dark blue eyes. _

_Blue eyes _and his friend whom was with him before enter the elevator and nearly fall in the process. He stands next to me and then looks up at me. His pierce blue eyes looks straight at me and frowns. I realised I too am looking at him again like a complete freak. I quickly look down and feel my face blush a deep shade of red.

'Oh god!'. I silently muttered to myself. Trying to not look up again.

'Thank you'. The spiky hair guy next to him says. I look up and give him a weak smile. He winks at me before turning. He presses the button level 4 and stands in front of me.

Level 4 . They are either going to the security quarters or administrative office. This again sparks my curiosity. Why are they here in Abnegation. I am lost in my thoughts when I feel blue eyes tense next to me.

I continue looking down wishing for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. _Why does he look so annoyed? Beatrice he probably hasn't noticed you? You are terribly plain. _

Then the elevator begins to ascent when the lift then gives a violent jolt and stops.

I gasped and quickly look at the panel. I was about to press the emergency button when I hear a soft voice through the loudspeakers say.

'"Please stay calm. Minor technical problem and it will be fix within 10 minutes".

I don't realise am holding my breaths till a loud _whoosh_ escapes my mouth. I looked up and find both men staring. I quickly turn and look straight.

_Great now they think your an freak ! _

'"Oh great! This will make Squirrel happy. We are going to be late now'" His friend said with amusement in his voice.

Squirrel?

'We will be fine'. Blue eye answers, his voice sounds harsh, almost angry. From the corner of my eye I can see him stealing glances down at me. I keep my gaze firmly on the door.

Then I hear his friend turn and direct a question to me. "Stiff, I bet you will be runing late aswell hey!?'" He points to the door and waits for me to answer.

I glanced to him, 'Yes'. I answer quietly. I start playing with the hem of my sleeves feeling awkward again.

'Relax stiff. Just asking. I am not going to hurt you. No need to look scared'. He chuckles with a slight shake of his head.

'Oh well they just need to understand. Saving life can wait for now', He starts to pace back and forward in the elevator.

His smile is contagious and I find myself also smiling.

'Man I am hungry. Are you?' He turns to the blue eyes who has been standing there in silence. 'Any good cafe around here stiff?'. The mention of the world stiff makes me smile. People in our community find it offensive and degratory. I don't, it's how we are seen; serious and selfless. We don't show any emotions.

At all.

I shrugged my shoulders. 'There's none here in the hospital. The best one is in Pitt street called Mappy's pie shop'. I reply with a small voice.

The spiky guy smiles at me and then looks up at blue eyes.

'We are definitely going after, I need to buy good coffee'. The guy says as he slides down and sits in the corner.

Then he looks up at me. 'Would you like to come and grab a coffee after- ' he is interrupted by blue eyes.

'Zeke, really? Enough. Stop talking nonsense. We need to go back to the training quarter after this meeting'. He raises both eyebrows at him. He doesn't look please. He actually looks annoyed.

Zeke smiles at blue eyes and waves at him, 'Hey, man chill'. He says , clearly not affected by how blue eyes spoke to him.

Then we feel the elevators moving. We stand up to the side and wait for our level to come.

I stood there anxiously. I can feel a blush creep up again. His friend was going to invite me out with them. Then he stopped Zeke. Of course he did. As if he would even look twice at you. He is devasting handsome and brave. Your just a _plain _stiff.

The elevators stop at level 4. The doors open. Both men walk out.

'Stiff nice hanging out! Hope to see you around!' He gives me a wave before walking away. Blue eyes walks out but turns and looks at me as the doors start to close. This time I stare back at him. I can feel my heart stop. I want to smile but I can't so I stand there with my mouth slightly open._ Smile Beatrice, smile! _

All my life I have been able to stop my emotions from taking over me. I have kept myself busy with my studies and family that I haven't been able to maintain close friendships or relationships. Neither have I been able to as I have an overprotective mother and sister. I don't know why this man has such a big impact on me.

His gone now .

And I still don't know his name.

I won't see him again. I should just forget about him.

As I approach my ward, I am still thinking of him when I see my DOM Margaret and another lady name Coralie standing next to the front desk. They both look up and smile at me.

'Beatrice we have exciting news for you'. Coralie says. Coralie is our facilitator and she will be assessing me this afternoon. Hopefully I will stay in the children's ward.

'Yes'. I say starting to feeling hesitant and anxious.

'You been transferred to Intensive care unit!'

'Congratulations!'they both say at the same time with a smile.

I gasped and in shock answer. 'Intensive care unit?'. I have never worked there. My day has just gotten worse.

**There you go my third chapter! So they meet again. I love elevators encounters! You can tell Beatrice is mesmerised by him. Next chapter is where it gets interesting. I got my divergent DVD! yay... Leave any comments regarding anything. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Secrets**

I stood next to the radio as my patient soundly slept in her bed.

Through the small round speakers a man spoke with certainty,_ 'Abnegation Cross hospital is no longer under threat. Dauntless soldiers will now move out of premises, We repeat Abnegation Cross is no longer under threat'. _

"Oh thank goodness" I muttered quietly. It was frightening thinking that the hospital was under threat . My mother had been reluctant in sending me to work these few weeks but I had insisted on coming in. I couldn't miss work over a insignificant threat and we had an army of four to five soldiers armed on patrol daily. Our community had never been involved in any war or has displayed any type of violence.

It's been three weeks since we had Dauntless soliders stationed outside the hospital entrance, three weeks since the bomb threat and also its been three weeks since I last saw _him_.

The blue eyes solider.

Every day I have searched for him among the crowd of dauntless soldiers but have found nothing. I even looked for Zeke, his friend hoping to find blue eyes alongside him. At one point, in my desperate state I was thinking of approaching them and asking if such man existed. That thought diminished very quickly after seen my mother at the entrance waiting to take me home. I started to doubt myself and thought I have imagined him and the whole elevator scene.

"Nurse what time is it?" Mrs Phillips asked softly. I jerked slightly hearing her voice and moved next to her.

"Its 5:30 Mrs Phillips, your husband should be here any minute", I replied with a smile.

"Thankyou dear, I will rest some more until he is comes' she smiled before closing her eyes.

I adjusted the catheter gently before looking at the new IV drip making sure it was running smoothly. I checked her vital signs quietly and wrote it down on her report. Then I sat down in a chair in the corner and waited for Mr Phillips to arrive.

"Beatrice" I heard Corralie's voice before seeing her face poking into the room. "May I speak with you?"

I hurried out of the room to my supervisor who was waiting for me in the corridor. She stood there pacing back and forward and had creases in her forehead.

"Beatrice could you to come to my office?. I need to talk to you about something important. Susan will take over Mrs Phillips' care". I started feeling nervous. I have been working in ICU for three weeks and have rarely gone into my supervisor's office. The times I have I had received positive feedback. Have I made a mistake?, Maybe there has been a complain against me?

I obediently followed Corallie into her office. There in her office was Chief of surgery Dr O'Malley. I looked at Coralie worried. She smiled and looked at Dr O'Malley.

"Nurse Beatrice thankyou for coming, we have heard that you have adapted well in our ward and your an excellent nurse. We are happy with the care your providing our patients" Dr O'Malley spoke.

"Thank you sir, I enjoy working here and I dedicate my time providing the best possible care to our patient" I replied with a weak smile. I felt more worried as I was trying to process what was been said.

"Beatrice, there has been an accident outside Abnegation early today. Three solider have been shot and they are been transported here for specialised care. I would like to assign you to care for one solider in particular. He is still in operating room but soon be transported to a room in ICU" he spoke with a stern voice.

"Miss Prior the news of this incident has not been broadcast as we don't want to alarm our community. There is an investigation gone underway so we expect to find out more information on what happened. However, I expect full confidentiality in this matter" he continued and glared at me .

"I also expect limit interaction and conversation with the solider. He will be treated here and then transported to Dauntless for his full recovery. He is only here for critical care. We don't want to be involved in any activity that can put our hospital or our patients at risk." he spoke looking at me and then at Coralie.

"Is that understood?"

"Yes Sir" I replied. I was starting to feel nervous when the phone began to ring.

Dr O'Malley smiled at me before turning around and picking the phone up.

"Thankyou Beatrice, you are dismissed for the day. Go home and rest. I will see you early in the morning at 7 am". Coralie smiled and walked me out before walking back in and shutting the door.

I walked to the elevator feeling exhausted. There has been a shooting outside Abnegation? Was it linked to the hospital threat? Why didn't they want people to know? Who was the solider? many questions filled my head. I then started feeling overwhelmed that the only thing that distracted me from thinking about today's encounter with Dr O'Malley was calling my mother and telling her I was on my way home . Always thinking the worst she asked me whether something bad had happened. I lied and reassured her that I was on a quick shift and needed rest.

I arrived home to my mother waiting impatiently outside and Tori standing next her.

"_I_ could have picked you up Beatrice" My mother said looking like she wanted to cry any moment.

"Mother I told you they let me go early. It was quite today and tomorrow I have a long shift. I just wanted to get home and rest" I whispered. I walked pass them into the house and sat down. They both followed and sat next to me.

" I would of been happy to get you Beatrice and since when do they let you go home early?" Tori tone was accusing.

"Tori its the first time. I didn't want to bother you or mother. I am old enough to come home on my own now". I shrugged. I noticed Tori shoulder slump a little. I wondered whether I upset her. "I am sorry next time I will call. I didn't want to worry anyone".

"Beatrice its ok. I know I overreact but I just want you safe at home" My mother admitted and came to stroke my hair . "I love you" She gave me a kiss on the forehead and walked to her bedroom.

"Beatrice we just care about you. We are all that mother has , please don't hurt her." Tori muttered avoiding my eyes.

"Tori I understand but we cant just keep living like this. we need to have friends and experience life. It doesn't mean we will abandon our mother. She can be part of that life-" I stopped talking after she interrupted me.

"No!" She yelled and got up.

"Beatrice that's just been selfish. Our life is to help others and stay with _our_ mother. She lost dad and she wont survive if she loses us. Now stop thinking about yourself. I have promised to stick by her and I am certain you will as well. Don't hurt her" Tori groaned before walking away.

I sat there, I felt a sob creeping up my throat but I couldn't let them hear the sadness I felt. How is this normal? How could I continue living like this. I love my mother and sister but not been able to walk on my own or make friends because they were worried about my safety was ridiculous. But Tori was right I couldn't leave my mother. Conflicted with my thoughts and sadness I decided to skip dinner and go to bed.

That night I was tossing in bed and finally found sleep in the memory of those beautiful dark blue eyes looking back at me.

**There you go...another chapter! Sorry for not updating sooner. I have written the other chapter. Will post tonight! So I wonder who is the solider she is assigned to look after ?! review- like, hate, comment..whatever thanks x**


	6. Chapter 6

**Four**

I followed Coralie through the steel gray doors and to the intensive care unit. I could hear the continuous beeps and hums flowing through the unit rooms. They have given me a brief report on the soldier and his injuries. His name is Four, 22 years of age and he was an experienced trained officer in Dauntless. He has been shot twice on the right arm and was lucky it didn't hit any major artery. He was in a stable condition and had ongoing oxygen running to assist his breathing.

"Beatrice he is still unconscious but his vital signs are stable. I will let you go in and observe his surrounding before changing his wound dressing"Coralie spoke softly as she stopped in bed room 5 and placed her hand in the door knob. She opened the door and let me inside then turned to walk down the corridor.

I traveled to the length of the bed over the protruding tubes and wires coming from him before looking at his face. Then my heart shattered as I took in the man's face. It was him ...it was blue eyes.

_Four_

I gasped and looked away. Tears welled in my eyes and I had to hold onto the rail so I wouldn't fall . I took a few deep breaths and composed myself I couldn't let anyone see me like this. My eyes traveled to Four again and I focused solely on him as the sound of beeps and hums faded . He laid there with his bronze skin and beautiful complexion. His both eyes shut and an oxygen mask covered his nose and mouth. Why did this happen to him? he looked so vulnerable laying there. I stood there in such a trance looking at his face I didn't realise his blankets had fallen down to his side.

I quickly went to adjust the blankets around him before walking to his monitor machine. Then my hand grazed his hand and I felt an lighting shock come down to my toes. My heart fluttered again, and I went to reach for my chart to document his vital signs. What I am I going to do? How will I nurse him? A vision of Four's eyes looking at mine flashed through my head, and the thrill I felt when I thought of him.

I can't think of him like this, I have to remain professional and I have a duty of care to my _patient_...remain professional Beatrice.

I took a few deep breaths again and attended to his wound dressings. He remain asleep the whole time. I was becoming nervous I wondered what he would think when he awakes and see's me. Would he be in shock? he will be in pain and also upset?

I heard soft knocking and I turned around and whispered,

"Come in"

Coralie entered the room "Beatrice how is he? any changes?" she asked glancing over my shoulders at Four. She looked tired and then yawned a couple of times. We have all been working to many long hours .

"No changes. His vital are stable, blood pressure did increase but it has come down. I just changed his wound dressing, no swelling or redness around the site DOM" I said, placing a hand on the side table , holding Four's chart in my fingers. " I will change his catheter and then ask the warden to help me change his linen".

" Oh, good. The Dauntless leader Max is asking about his progress. I have assured him that he is been looked after well and should be transferred to Dauntless soon". She spoke shaking her head.

"Beatrice when he awakes he will be disorientated and might ask for his family. Max disclosed to me that Four doesn't have any contact with his family and he does not like discussing personal matters". She frown as she spoke and closed her eyes.

"Please be careful with what you say, you are his prime nurse so you will be around him the most. We don't want to offend him especially with the state he is in. I am I clear?" she spoke, walking towards the door,

My heart skipped a beat when she spoke. I couldn't help but feel sadness at Four not having any family, especially now when he needed someone the most.

"Yes DOM I wont discuss family or any matter at all" I replied sadly. My heart broke for him again, all of Tori's words of family and the importance of been together came floating through my mind and how we need each other to survive . I just couldn't understand how he didn't have anyone, no family. _It was baffling. _

"Thanks Beatrice, I am heading home and nurse Luke should be in to relieve you at 10"

"Yes DOM, goodnight" I whispered and turn around to lower myself in the chair beside him.

"Goodnight" she said smiling before walking out.

I scooted my chair closer to Four and looked at his face again. He looked so peaceful. My eyes traveled over his blanket form to his hands. He had big hands with long harsh fingers, I took his hands without thinking and stroked his knuckles rhythmically.

He was beautiful

"Four I am here for you. I promise I will look after you" I whispered, closing my eyes and squeezing his hand.

I immediately removed my hands from his and got up to check his machine again. I couldn't understand what pulled me to him..a complete stranger. If my mother knew I had .._touched_ him. I had to remind myself that I was just a plain nurse from Abnegation and I couldn't get involve with him. I _couldn't._..Not that he would be interested in me in _any_ way.

"Beatrice, you have gone mad!" I muttered and looked at my hands.

My shift was finishing and I just wanted to stay here beside him. I glanced at the clock, 0950 pm. I had 10 minutes to give him his pain medication and finish his report so I could do handover.

"This should take some pain away Four" I whispered before administering his medication.

I pushed Fentanyl through his IV and then proceed to wash my hands. I heard Luke whisper my name "Beatrice, Beatrice".

I looked over at Four 's face again one last time before leaving the room. His eyes were shut and he looked fragile laying there. I sighed and started walking towards the door.

_He needs me Beatrice...or maybe I am the one who needs him. _

**Thank you for reading.! Again if I make spelling mistakes please correct me. This story wont be all depressing...wait till you meet Christina! Their dynamic (Tris and Christina) will be very amusing to see. The next chapters will focus on Tris and Four's relationship. My four will be a bit different then Veronica's Four...his more mysterious, charming and very sexy. In saying that I can only picture Theo James as Four.. Again like, review, comment , hate ...whatever !**


	7. Chapter 7

**Coffee**

I sat outside the elevators at the bottom floor, debating whether to go and get a latte at the corner shop. I still had 30 minutes before the shifts starts. However, I am eager to go up and see Four this morning. I am excited and nervous to possibly see him awake. I have gotten my latte every day this year since starting this job and most of the times I have really needed it. But today I felt so energized to start my shift. Instead I chose to sit there and watch the minute's pass before I go up.

"Four" I said smiling.

What type of name was that? Four as the number? It's such an unusual and intriguing name. Maybe children are named after numbers and letters in Dauntless. I wouldn't be surprise it sounds so different there compared to Abnegation. Here we seem to follow the same set of rules, even when picking our children's name. We have five Beatrice in our family so there was no originality in my name picking.

I sat there quietly and continued looking at my watch. I should just go up and get ready to start. I make my way up to the ward. I realised part of me is happy to see him but the other part of me is slightly disappointed that I continue thinking of him romantically. I needed to stop this now and focus on helping him with his recovery so he can be transferred to Dauntless.

Four was asleep when I entered the room. He was still on oxygen but unlike yesterday he looked more relaxed. I slowly adjusted his oxygen mask, when his eyelids began to flutter. Slowly they lifted and for the second time dark blue eyes are locked with mine.

"Hello" I whispered softly and breathe out feeling a plunge of relief. He was awake thank goodness. His eyes flickered between mine, unsure of what to do next. I smiled and then patted his hand.

There was a few silent moments passed before any movement or sounds were made. Then I heard him. "Hey" his voice was hoarse. I could hear him clearing his voice.

He then smiled at me before shutting his eyes again.

I smiled and left his room to get fresh linen. When I returned he was wide awake following me with his dark blue eyes from the moment I entered the room. I froze feeling nervous and looked down at my feet.

"Four, my name is Beatrice and I am your nurse" I introduce myself looking up at him and finding his dark blue eyes staring straight at me.

"You are currently in the intensive Care Unit at Abnegation Cross. I will have Dr Newton one of our registers come and to talk to you about your current condition"

He breathed out and shifted in his bed. I quickly went and assisted him moving his pillow to help him support his back.

"Thanks" he muttered.

"You are also having pain medication administered through the Intravenous line" I said pointing at the IV line and the machine attached to left arm. He slowly nodded and then turned away.

"Please if you start to feel more pain don't forget to tell me and I will get a doctor to come in and increase your dose".

"I am here to assist you, so please don't hesitate to ask for any help".

"I don't _need_ assistance" he said through his clenched teeth, moving his eyes to meet mine before travelling down my body to my feet and back again.

I felt a blush creep up as he stared at me. He then looked away at the windows.

"I.." I started to say before Four interrupted me again.

" When can I get discharged?" he asked through his oxygen mask.

" Not anytime soon. Your still in critical condition. But I will get the register to come in and discuss it with you".

"Four, I am sure in no time you will be transferred to Dauntless but for now you must rest ".

"I will be your primary nurse so again -"

"_Your_ been assigned to look after me?" He interrupted with a smirk.

I nodded feeling my face go red.

"How _many_ days do you work?" He asked looking at me quizzically.

"I am on for 6 days straight and they are 12 hours shifts and then I have 2 days off. But because I am assigned to you I might be here longer" I finished saying, realising I had been ratting off without thinking. I look down at my shoes and try to focus on that then the embarrassment I felt. His going to think your odd...

Ha Beatrice he does already!

"I _see_ " he frowned leaning back and momentary making me forget how to breathe.

Oh great his now disappointed, I looked over my nurse's notes. I cleared my voice and held onto my chart for some support. "Four , I ..we have a great specialise team here and we will look after you".

"You will recover " I reassured him.

"Well I do _have_ you to look after me" He said with a sly smile and turned around.

I didn't know how to reply to that so I moved to change his IV bags.

XXXXXXXX

For the rest of the afternoon Four didn't talk. He was either sleeping or glancing at the window. I quietly moved around him to check his drip and catheter .

Doctor Newton had come in to update Four on his condition. He told Four he was stable and was lucky to have survived. He also gave orders on Four been on bed rest for at least 2-3 days. He said he would review him again and might then consider transferring him to his faction. Four didn't say much, only that he was looking forward to be back in Dauntless As soon as possible. The Doctor left straight after and Four went back to sleep.

As I started changing his IV bags I covered my yawn with my hand.

"Tired?" I heard him ask.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" I turned to him. His eyes still shut.

"You didn't" he muttered.

"Do you need anything before I go on my break? I go in 10 minutes."

"No" he said softly.

As I glanced back at Four, his whole demeanor has completely changed since this morning. He looked content , almost peaceful again. His shoulders have fallen backwards and his hand were clasped together.

"Getting your coffee?" Four asks, he was holding his mask.

"I was suppose to get it this morning but decided against it. But now I think I should have" I replied softly, letting out another yawn. I then started writing down his report.

"Why didn't you get it?"

Well..

"I.."" Do I tell him I was counting down the minutes to see him? Or do I lie?

"I was running late" I smiled. Yeah I lied.

"I order long black" he says.

"Sorry?" I asked confused

"Coffee, I like to order long black".

"Ahh that says alot" I chuckle.

"Really? what ?" Four asks curiously and adjusts his mask again.

"Sorry didn't mean to laugh. It just such my sister works at a café and she always says that the coffee you order says lot about your personality. Long black means strength and a long black suits stamina needs. This person is busy, fast and on the go" I say and tilted my head to one side.

"Or that you don't really like milk" I smile at him.

"Yeah you got that right, not a fan of milk" he turned around, holding the oxygen mask in stu and opened his eyes.

He didn't smile but his eyes sparkled in the dark.

I quietly grab my notes and start to walk towards the light switch to turn it off.

"What do you drink, _Beatrice_?" he asks, sounding amused.

I froze and turned around, "Coffee?" I asked, feeling shocked that he has said my name. I feel weak at the knees and proceed to turn of the light.

"I do like my latte" I reply smiling. Its true I am so addicted at the moment.

"What does that say about you?" Four asked.

"Well as my sister tells me ...they are the ones who always stay back at work without ever complaining. They would bring in their own heater and high-altitude gear rather than ask for the heating to be turned up. And they are generally _nice_ people" I reply softly, grabbing the door knob.

"A true stiff" he says.

"Who has great taste in coffee" he whispers and then I hear him shuffle in the bed.

A hint of smile comes across my face and I closed the door behind me. Outside I stood against the door and let out a sigh.

It was worth the wait not getting my latte this morning. I can now enjoy it and think of the indirect compliment Four just gave me...

**What coffee do you like? I love my chai latte..am really addicted but the sugar content isn't the best hahah...Do you think he likes her? Hmm**

**Thanks for reading...please like, review, hate ..whatever!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Crush**

As Dr Newton left Four's room. I crumbled into the chair beside him and starting writing my report for the evening. Four has been here in the Intensive unit for four days now. His recovery was underway and the team was happy with his condition. He has spent most days either sleeping or looking out the window. We had not converse since the 'coffee' talk and he didn't seem too keen in talking to me or anyone in that matter.

I continued doing my duties around him, feeling awkward silence invade the room again. I seen him give me side glances at times.

"Four, I need to change your dressing. Is it ok I do it now?" I asked. Looking up at him and trying to avoid his gaze.

"Yes" he muttered.

"How are you feeling this afternoon?" I asked as I moved to my nursing trolley.

"Better" he simply replied. His dark blue eyes still looking at mine.

"I heard Doctor Newton is happy with how your wound is healing. They should transfer you soon" I said looking at him and gave him a weak smile. He continued watching me.

Then I became shy from his watchful gaze and turned away.

"Beatrice, tell me something about yourself" he asked changing the subject. His eyes were still studying my face.

I paused, my eyes quickly drifted from his face down to my trolley. I started wiping my trolley down. "What would you like to know?" I asked. Hoping he wouldn't realise the break in my voice.

"Favourite colour? " he asked.

"Well-"

"No .. Sorry..Wait what's your Favourite food?" He quickly asked.

" Uhm" I hesitated. What do I say? I don't have one as we aren't allowed to self indulged in food here in Abnegation. We only eat to survive, basic food without flavour or spices. It would be too selfish to eat processed food or any other type of food that required too many ingredients, when people are starving in some parts of the world.

"Sorry for asking that" Four frowned. He ran his hand through his hair. I watched him fascinated at how someone can look so attractive just by touching their hair.

"I know you's don't self indulge in food here. Sorry I am just hungry and craving a juicy beef burger. I am over this hospital food" he chuckled.

"Plain rice and steam chicken can have it's toll in you" he said in amusement.

I nod in agreement, "Yes the food here can get repetitive". I finished setting up his sterile dressings on the tray and pushed the trolley to his bedside. "I would love to try a good mango cheesecake, I have heard it's delicious".

"Ah! now that is what am talking about" He grinned showing straight white teeth.

He shifted himself to the right, closer to the trolley, but ended up tangling himself with his IV line and mask.

"I can't take this shit getting caught again" he groaned, lifting his arm and trying to untangle the wires connected to him.

"Here, let me help you" I said, holding the line up and putting it over his head and arm. Letting it run loose on his side. I panicked when I heard him swear but that was because people barely swore around here. However, he actually sound manly.

"Thanks" he said.

I proceed in washing my hands and putting my gloves on to start the procedure.

I asked him to undo his top shirt button and expose his chest and right shoulder. His wound was the size of a golf ball so I needed a good amount of space to examine the wound and cover it. My eyes then traced to his broad shoulders that were exposed, it was well defined and looked strong. Masculine. The small dark ink also went unnoticed, I couldn't see what it was but the tattoo looked like it covered his whole back.

Again I started to feel a hot flush overcome my body as I touched his skin. Thats when I heard him.

"You have beautiful hair, it's so shiny and looks silky." His voice was husky. " It smells like fucking strawberries".

"Thank you" I said taking in a deep shaky breath . My cheeks burnt now. " Its nothing special". I regretted my words as they came out, I am sure he now thinks I am insecure and have self esteem issues.

Great.

I tried focusing back on his wound but my hands started to sweat making my gloves sticky.

"How do you know that?" His voice sounded demanding. I felt his breathing on the side of my face. His scent was sweet and spicy and it washed over me, filling my lungs.

I started to feel dizzy.

"I .. I think I look very _plain_" I said softly. Putting on the last bandage on his wound.

Yes. I am. Done.

Plain.. Ordinary..Stiff these words were floating in my head. Oh god did I have self esteem issues?

"Then you haven't seen yourself clearly" His face was only inches from mine. "Beatrice, you are so much more". From the corner of my eyes, I could see him looking at my mouth. Then he took a deep breath and licked his lips.

Oh...

What just happened? Why was he looking at me like that?

I swallowed roughly and moved away. Trying not to knock him or my trolley over. I packed up all the rubbish from my tray. Took my gloves off and looked at my feet before walking away. I didn't need to stack it at this moment.

I needed to get out. I needed _air._ I needed to digest what just happened.

I felt funny. My body had responded to his gaze and his scent in a very inappropriate way. I felt like I was on fire in a very but very good way.

" I have to go and grab more ..._bandages"_. My eyes widen and I began to panic.

"Beatric-" he started saying.

I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want him to regret what he said.

"No I mean gloves!" I shouted at him, interrupting him and moving closer to the door. "Yes gloves! I have ran out of it! Can you believe that?! How irresponsible! " I giggled nervously.

"Be right back".

Just leave Beatrice. Your making a complete fool of yourself .

Turning on one heel I exited the room. I paced down the corridor, pass the tea room , straight to the ladies room.

I entered the first cubicle and sat on the toilet seat. I hugged my legs and placed my head down between my thighs.

Yes, I had a huge crush on Four. Everything about him affected me. Since the moment I laid eyes on him, I haven't been able to think properly. He consumes my every thought. Why did I have to like my patient? Why did my patient have to be _him_? And why did _he_ have to be from Dauntless?

Perhaps I felt like this because I have never dated...OR been interested in a guy in such an intense way? It's been difficult trying to have normal teenage experience with two overprotective and overbearing carers.

Also in Abnegation if a boy was interested in you he would have to 'court you' first. Therefore getting the approval of your father. Neither has happened to me. I mean I didn't even have a father anymore.

But Four... his different. I can feel it. When I looked in his eyes, not only am I drowning in beautiful dark blue water. But I see a reflection of a different Beatrice. A Beatrice I want to be...Strong, loud and brave.

But I don't know him.

No I don't. Again I am talking like he has declared his undying love to me, his merely just given me another compliment.

I took a deep breath and decided to return to Four. He had his medication due soon. I needed to remain calm and professional.

As I walked back down the corridor I saw Susan waiting for the elevator. She turned and waved "Beatrice!"

"How are you!? How's yours shift going?" She asked.

"Busy but my patient is recovering well" I yawned Covering my mouth.

"Sorry" I said through another yawn. It was getting close to 8 pm.

"Oh good. He should be transferred to his faction soon and see the other two soldiers that were injuried that night as well". She whispered.

How could I have forgotten? Four wasn't the only solider injuried that night. There have been two others alongside him. They had survived, that's all the information I was given. They didn't expand on it and I didn't question any further. We nurses had no right to question the high bosses.

"That's great news Susan. I am glad there was no casualties".

"Beatrice , you know am not one for gossip but becareful with your patient. I have heard disturbing things about him" She spoke avoiding eye contact with me.

"What do you mean _disturbing_? " I questioned frowning.

"He is extremely dangerous but charming when he wants something. Very manipulative. Quote ' he needs to leave soon as we don't trust him'". She lowered her voice and turned around to see if anyone was listening.

Four dangerous? How is that possible?

" Susan, he was injuried while guarding our community!" I said defending him. She put a finger to her mouth indicating to talk quietly. "I am sure they would have sent him back to Dauntless if they suspected him to be _dangerous_" I whispered back.

Her face was covered with a seriousness she never possessed, " I am just repeating what I heard Beatrice. The rest I don't know".

She sigh "Just becareful, I have a feeling something is going on that we aren't aware off".

The elevators ascended and the doors opened. She stepped in and gave a worried smile "I'll see you soon".

I stood there dumbfound. The last comment about us been careful bought chills through my body. Could this have something to do with the recent bomb threat? and also be linked with the shootings? My thoughts went back to Four again. I didn't know much about him..actually I only knew his name and his age. Charming? Yes completely. Dangerous? Manipulative? I don't think so...Why would they want him gone?. Little did I know that the danger didn't lie with Four but in Abnegation itself.

**Thanks for reading! So what do you think.? What is going on? Loving Tris and Four interaction? Remember Beatrice has been sheltered all her life so she lacks life experience In every way... She only has control over her career. But she is smart...do you think Four is just playing along or he really likes her...who was your first crush.? I was 15 and his name was Simon :) felt butterflies every time he was near! Like , review, hate..whatever...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Torn**

I entered Four's room quietly hoping that if he was asleep I wouldn't wake him. The room was dark and I could only see the side monitor's light shining. I looked at Four, his eyes were shut and I could hear his heavy breathing.

His asleep. _Thank goodness! _I sighed in relief.

I walked passed his bed to his monitors, grabbed his report that had been placed on top of his blood pressure machine.

"Beatrice" he whispered, his voice echoed through the room. I froze for a moment before feeling my heartbeat start again.

"Four I..I am just checking your monitors and will be writing your report before the I finish" I answered, looking everywhere except him.

"Oh ..ok..is your shift is nearly over?" He asked me softly.

"Yes, in 10 minutes".

"hmm"

"Listen Beatrice, about before I didn't mean to offend you or be disrespectful in any way" I turned and looked at him my eyes locking with his. His voice sounded anxious.

"Four its ok".

"You have done alot for me this few days and I..I wanted to..sorry" he rubbed his index finger across his forehead.

"I am sorry. I couldn't help it. I just find you beautiful. I didn't want to .give you...a.. fuck...sorry" he began to ramble. "I know it was inappropriate to say that to you, since your my nurse and all'. He started rubbing his neck and looking flushed.

I couldn't help but smile and shake my head at him "Four its ok. I didn't take any offence to it. Sorry I left the room. I needed to get a few things". I lied.

"But-" he started but I stopped him.

"Four, You didn't _offend_ me at all. Thank you for the compliment. Now if you excuse me I need to get ready to handover to the night nurse". I had no idea where my bravery came from. Maybe it was from the way Susan addressed Four or the fact that I was about to jeopardise my own career if I continued letting him affect me.

Pathetic..

I watched Four's mouth open and close a few times. His face showed pure shock before smirking.

He was smirking at me.

"You um..you have a boyfriend or something? He asked me in a cocky voice. Almost in a teasing manner which surprised me.

_He likes me. He likes me._

I stood there and answered quickly. "I...No...I don't..have one". I said shaking my head vigorously at him. "I'm ..I'm single..No". I said feeling flushed and annoyed that I had to stumble on my words to give him a straight answer.

"Good" he muttered.

"_Sorry_?" I stared at him. I didn't know what else to say or do but stared. I knew that by answering that personal question I was getting involved with him. I was giving him an inside on my personal life.

"Really?!..good..thats good to know" he crossed his arms across his chest and gave me a big smile that made my heart flutter again.

_He likes me. He likes me. _

"Why?" I looked at him feeling my cheeks burning, at that moment I felt like challenging him. Why did he want to know.

"Because Beatrice I am interested in getting to know you. Your are very intriguing" he replied with a wink that set my inside on fire.

Ok that's it. I needed to leave _now_.

"Goodnight Four" I smiled.

"See you tomorrow _Beatrice_" I looked at him and watched as he closed his eyes, I let myself explore his beautiful face before leaving his room.

Till tomorrow.

xxxxxxx

I walked into my house with Tori in pursuit and felt like I was in cloud nine. I couldn't stop smiling, my face was aching because of it. Since leaving work tonight I've had Four in my head. Even Tori has noticed and had commented on my change of mood.

He said I was beautiful.. Four thought I was beautiful and he wanted to get to know me. I felt a strong connection with him then I have felt with anyone else. He made me feel different... almost special. I also couldn't deny the strong physical attraction I felt towards him. Yes I was going to get to know him and see where this gioes...this could be the start of a great friendhip. Nothing wrong with been his friend Beatrice. You need friends.

"Beatrice, your tea is ready" Tori called from the kitchen. I walked passed mother's room and towards Tori. Toti was standing near the oven and holding the hot dish of chicken.

"Mother still sleeping? I asked, Tori had picked me up tonight from work. She arrived and apologised for been late as mother was unwell and she had forgotten to tell Tori to pick me.

"Yes, she been sleeping since two this afternoon. She woke up at one point took her migraine tablets and went back to bed" she answered as she started Serving me some chicken.

"She hasn't had a migraine for a while. She gets like this when it's related to our _father_" I narrowed my eyes down as the words got stuck in my throat.

Of course. My father's birthday was in two days.

"_Oh God_" I whispered.

"Father's birthday, Beatrice. I know" Tori said carefully and sighed. She placed my plate down and walked over to me and put her arms around my shoulders.

"We just have to be there for her. That's all we can do".

"Yes. It's been too long. I know we aren't allowed to mention him especially in front of mother because it upsets her but", I exhaled and looked down at my feet. "This year why can't we do something special for his birthday in his memory?".

"We aren't going to celebrate _anything_! He was taken from US and we shouldn't insult his memory by celebrating his birthday when he isn't here!" she snapped, not interested in hearing what I meant.

"Why do you shut me out Tori? Why is it that you always put me down and make me feel so small. You weren't the only one that lost a father that day or a mother. I was there too" I said and pushed past Tori with my shoulder.

I left the kitchen and went straight to my bed. I sat down and hugged my pillow. I started sobbing uncontrollably in it.I felt so frustrated and angry. I missed him and wish he was here to comfort me. But his not and he hasn't been for 8 years. It frustrating how mother wont allow us to talk about my father and Tori refuses to acknowledge that we also lost him that night.

Push those thoughts away ..don't think of that night. It will only make you feel worse.

One thing was for sure I needed to sleep so I could formulate a move to correct my relationship with my _patient_ Four. But as I laid there tossing in my bed, I felt that even with a good night rest I wasn't going to be closer to knowing how to deal with the emotions I felt towards him. I couldn't control myself when I was with him and that put me on the edge, the overwhelming feeling of wanting to touch him when I was around him, but I couldnt.

I wouldn't.

Well that's what I kept telling myself over and over again that night.

**Thankyou for reading! Also thankyou to my 30 beautiful followers! Like, hate, review..Whatever...xx**


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